Expert Author Olachi Amah

I used to think like in the Disney and Hollywood movies that I would be standing by a table and staring into thin air; and a man would walk up to me with a smile that could capture any woman's heart, a smile that shows some enigmatic features and he would say the right words looking intently into my eyes. A moment that would take me to the stars and I would never want to come back. I have also thought of a case where I would be walking on the road and my books would fall and as I try to pick it, a young, tall and handsome looking guy would walk to me and offer to assist me and who knows, maybe my soul mate.

We were thought from elementary school that as ladies, we should not fall for any guy that comes our way until we are matured enough to get married. We grew up with that mentality until the reality of life dawned on us, as we face the real world. Most of the things we imagined were not what we saw out there. Usually, we have it all planned out so that we will not be deceived, our reactions in self-defense when he comes with that "smile" and "look"; the words we would reply him when he says "I like you baby, you are so pretty and sexy".

But at the end of the day, it is not what we planned that happens. With all the lessons and training our parents and teachers gave us from tender age, we still let our guards down when he comes around. Oh my world, he says all the right words, has all the answers to every question you ask. He is so vast and knowledgeable. How does he do it? And as if that is not enough, his appearance is so tempting. He is so tall, so handsome, so muscular, having 6-packs, he is well dressed, wearing that long-sleeved shirt with the perfect matching color of well ironed long pants; or a body-hugging polo with a nice pair of jeans and sneakers to go with it. A nice haircut; carved to style, matured eyes and nice set of white teeth that brightens up his smile. And you ask yourself, "am I in heaven? Could this be the man for me? Oh my world, he is so neat and a successful young gentle-man; look at his ride, a Toyota high-lander. Oh my God, what is happening to me? Am I falling in love already? How am I sure this is not destiny. Could fate have brought us together? Could this be a sign from God?"

You have tried so many times to fight those feelings for fear of deception. You begin to appreciate and recall all that mama and teacher thought you; what pastor and the guidance counselor thought you. But they never seem to be of any help. No matter how much you tell yourself "I don't want to fall for him", unconsciously he has been registered in your mind and you can't seem to get him out. He is stuck up there. At that point, you now have to depend on your head instead of your heart to think straight, because your heart is confused. A logical thinking would come into play and not emotional. You ask yourself "why exactly do I like him? Well, if you can sit down, set your emotions aside and think it through, seeing beyond what was stirring at you and going deep, you might find the answer. Everyone has what they expect to see in someone they want to spend a long time together with, and they all come in different dimensions and levels. Some are hidden; you have to bring it out of them, while some are quite obvious.

God is Love and He is the manufacturer of love. Go to Him and He will give you the manual on how to walk in love. Don't get carried away in your understanding and feelings. It is very difficult to make a decision, most especially when you have seen all the qualities you ever desire, in him. But God who made them all, male and female, made the right man just for you. Talk to Him and He will direct your path to make the right decision.

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