Expert Author Olachi Amah

I used to think like in the Disney and Hollywood movies that I would be standing by a table and staring into thin air; and a man would walk up to me with a smile that could capture any woman's heart, a smile that shows some enigmatic features and he would say the right words looking intently into my eyes. A moment that would take me to the stars and I would never want to come back. I have also thought of a case where I would be walking on the road and my books would fall and as I try to pick it, a young, tall and handsome looking guy would walk to me and offer to assist me and who knows, maybe my soul mate.

We were thought from elementary school that as ladies, we should not fall for any guy that comes our way until we are matured enough to get married. We grew up with that mentality until the reality of life dawned on us, as we face the real world. Most of the things we imagined were not what we saw out there. Usually, we have it all planned out so that we will not be deceived, our reactions in self-defense when he comes with that "smile" and "look"; the words we would reply him when he says "I like you baby, you are so pretty and sexy".

But at the end of the day, it is not what we planned that happens. With all the lessons and training our parents and teachers gave us from tender age, we still let our guards down when he comes around. Oh my world, he says all the right words, has all the answers to every question you ask. He is so vast and knowledgeable. How does he do it? And as if that is not enough, his appearance is so tempting. He is so tall, so handsome, so muscular, having 6-packs, he is well dressed, wearing that long-sleeved shirt with the perfect matching color of well ironed long pants; or a body-hugging polo with a nice pair of jeans and sneakers to go with it. A nice haircut; carved to style, matured eyes and nice set of white teeth that brightens up his smile. And you ask yourself, "am I in heaven? Could this be the man for me? Oh my world, he is so neat and a successful young gentle-man; look at his ride, a Toyota high-lander. Oh my God, what is happening to me? Am I falling in love already? How am I sure this is not destiny. Could fate have brought us together? Could this be a sign from God?"

You have tried so many times to fight those feelings for fear of deception. You begin to appreciate and recall all that mama and teacher thought you; what pastor and the guidance counselor thought you. But they never seem to be of any help. No matter how much you tell yourself "I don't want to fall for him", unconsciously he has been registered in your mind and you can't seem to get him out. He is stuck up there. At that point, you now have to depend on your head instead of your heart to think straight, because your heart is confused. A logical thinking would come into play and not emotional. You ask yourself "why exactly do I like him? Well, if you can sit down, set your emotions aside and think it through, seeing beyond what was stirring at you and going deep, you might find the answer. Everyone has what they expect to see in someone they want to spend a long time together with, and they all come in different dimensions and levels. Some are hidden; you have to bring it out of them, while some are quite obvious.

God is Love and He is the manufacturer of love. Go to Him and He will give you the manual on how to walk in love. Don't get carried away in your understanding and feelings. It is very difficult to make a decision, most especially when you have seen all the qualities you ever desire, in him. But God who made them all, male and female, made the right man just for you. Talk to Him and He will direct your path to make the right decision.


Expert Author Olachi Amah

Whenever people see these words or hear this sentence made, they remember the movie acted by Jim Caviezel costumed with a long hair, looking all calm and collected as he is believed to have acted his part so well and was able to interpret his role enough to relay the right message to the people and other actors too. That movie has taken the tone of the day as it has now become a symbol and icon used to depict the gory experience of Jesus on the cross. Pictures of the man in the movie has been printed on books, shirts, used as stickers, posters, wall papers, Facebook cover page and so on. But it goes way beyond that.

What is passion? It is an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. Sometimes such desire cannot be controlled. Even Jesus knew the weight of what he was about to carry, he still asked for the will of God to be done. It was not a fun time to him, as he had to drink of the cup of the iniquity of us all. "For our sake He made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him we might become [[g]endued with, viewed as being in, and examples of] the righteousness of God [what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right relationship with Him, by His goodness]" (2 Corinthians 5:21). God practically reduced his identity to the point that Jesus was sin. Jesus became like a taboo on the cross so that we can receive righteousness and judgment can be taken in our favor; giving us life for death. There was an exchange on the cross; the time when the tyranny of the devil over man-kind was ended. The time when sickness, disease, poverty, failure, name them all; they were all finished at the cross and we were ushered into the new life of Christ. This is the life that God intended for us from the beginning. The passion led to the finished works of Christ.

It would have been morally justified for peter to cut off the ears of one of the soldiers who came to arrest Jesus. I could imagine the anger and rage that filled his mind for those blood thirst men. But the passion of the Christ did not let him see joy in that, Jesus went and restored back his ears (John 18:10)

Before he died, he went through many trials of which he was found guilty in none. For every slap and beating he got, he retaliated with love and prayers for them. What baffles me was when one of the thieves who was hanging with him, told him he would like to be with him in paradise. On a very good day, someone who is about to die would be thinking of himself, taking a sober reflection and counting all his days on earth, but the passion of Jesus to accomplish what he was sent for, did not allow him reason that way. Even at the cross, the eternity of someone else was his priority "this day, you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43).

After the piercing, the beating, the nailing, the spitting, insults and gambling for his clothes, all he could say was "Father please forgive them for they know not what they do". It takes love for passion to spring forth; an intense desire that cannot easily be quenched. Compassion is different from passion. Jesus had compassion on the sick, lame, blind, deaf and people with all manner of diseases and death. His compassion could only carry him to heal them all, but his passion led him to die for us all. The fueling agent that caused such burning desire on the King of kings - The passion of the Christ was based on Love.


Expert Author Olachi Amah

We need to come to a point where every time we preach the word of God, whether for 5 minutes or 5 hours, we will not finish talking until we have brought men to the point of Calvary. If we give faulty gospel to men, we will raise faulty combats. And because they have faulty foundation, 20 years in church will not make them any different. Intellectualism only obscures the cross to the detriment of the hearers. The preaching of the cross is the point at which authentic power is released in to the life of people; whereas, the devil tries to paint the cross as if it is a problem. Like if someone has a difficult marriage, he wants to settle with his wife and it is proving unsolvable; when we want to counsel the person sometimes we say "that is the cross you have to carry or your wife is your cross". That is a wrong impression of the cross. The cross is not a problematic marriage. The cross, even though there was a lot of suffering with Jesus, it is not the suffering that is the essence of the cross. Sometimes, when we want to preach about the cross, we would say you have to suffer trials and tribulation and that is an error. The cross is an instrument of Glory. The cross is wisdom of God, a secret wisdom. When you come to talk about the cross, you will see men of old see the cross as an instrument of glory. The gospel will not be completely preached if the cross does not take a center stage in our presentation

For several preachers, they think that preaching the cross is old-fashioned. They feel that it will bring people into bondage and extreme poverty. But the truth is, the cross was the place where the tyranny over mankind was destroyed. The cross was where the spirit of poverty was finished. It was the place where all the accusations the devil has accumulated was discarded. It is the center of God's divine program. Everything in Genesis was looking forward to the cross. The cross is the reference point, where every co-ordinate emanates from. Anything that does not originate from the cross is not a genuine experience, not authentic. Any experience any man has and he could not trace it to the cross, is out of symmetry, it cannot fit into the divine plan. The laws of Moses, all covenant, all terminated at the cross. Satan lost his power to accuse punish and subdue. That is why he is not at ease for us to preach the cross, because that was where he lost it all. When people come with one suggestion to you because you have problems, they will say you need special prayers but they forget the cross. If there is one thing that the devil regretted is crucifying the Lord of lords.

The wisdom we speak is a mystery which God ordained before the world unto our glory. The cross was not an afterthought or a mistake. It was a divine plan. And because it was in God's plan, there are so many pictures of it in the Old Testament. We cannot bring men to experience the glory, if they will not experience the cross. You can counsel a man from a sinful habit for 10 years and it will bring an endless sacrifice; but bring that man to the cross, and let him see something finished, you will find a man who is free.

How men can be born of the spirit cannot be answered unless you turn men to the cross. The exchange of old nature for a new life only became possible at the cross. A convert ought not to stay in your church for two weeks before he can understand the transaction that took place at the cross because it is central to his new life. If he is going to draw the graph of his life, it must be drawn from that origin. Some people believe that to be a Christian, they have to fast twice a week. The truth of the matter is that; prayer, fasting and even fellowship are not the basis for our deliverance. Nobody is saved by coming to fellowship. Nobody is saved because he is praying; nobody is saved because of excessive fasting. Some people also feel that holiness has to do with the way you laugh. If you laugh with your mouth too broad, you will lose your sanctification immediately. They believe that excitement is emotional and when you move to that ream of emotion, you will lose your sanctification. You can be serious, prayerful, and looking spiritual but you are not free. But when you see the cross, you are free!

I get it. Companies need to have some rules, but 'brules', that's what leaders need to question.

Coined by Vishen Lakhiani, founding father of Mindvalley and author of The Code of the Extraordinary Mind, brules, otherwise mentioned as 'bullshit rules,' could also be a term for limiting rules, largely unconscious, insidious limiting rules that an organization or culture is holding that not serves the greater good.

Often they're rules someone invented within the past that not apply to this situation or were created as lazy attempts at creating order or during a knee jerk response to the folly of 1 difficult employee who did something stupid.

I know what you're thinking. it's vital to supply structure to employees and to be able to maintain standards. What I even have found working with dozens of companies however is that in nearly every case, upon closer inspection, establishing a replacement rule would be seen as management coming down hard and is potentially a narrow sighted, morale-killing because of address alittle problem. The overwhelming majority of the time, the matter must be handled one-on-one by the employee's manager, promptly and efficiently.

Why get an entire workforce offside because one manager avoids conflict and doesn't skills to manage performance and have a difficult conversation. It just makes stupid a neighborhood of the whole system. What i'd recommend instead is that leaders are given tools, coaching or training to support them in learning the thanks to address such issues during a timely and efficient manner.

So what kinds of Brules am I talking about? There are numerous but here's three of the common ones I encounter the most:

1. Limiting internet use.

We live within the web age. People should be able to attach with their online lives during breaks. once you're taking stupid measures to limit people's internet activity, it does quite demoralize and treat them like children, it can also limit their ability to undertake to to their jobs. just just in case you hadn't noticed it's rare to travel to a library to undertake to to research nowadays, we all appear the hay online. Checking the LinkedIn or Facebook profile of someone you simply interviewed as an example could also be a completely legit because of be using social media. With trust as a foundation during a culture allowing internet access could also be a non event.

2. Shutting down uniqueness and self-expression

Many organizations control what people can have at their desks and what they wear. Yep I worked at one of these and it almost killed me (no feather boas and tiaras allowed!)

A semi naked sexy calendar? On a worksite in strappy stilettos? Yep, i buy it; they appear to be a no go. But employers who dictate what percentage personal photographs people can display, whether or not they're going to use a bottle , have a plant or put up their kids drawings at their desk is just ludicrous. (Hint these are people not AI robots). Again it comes right right down to culture, to leaders having the power to affect issues competently and confidentially and treating employees like trusted adults. Simple.

3. Crazy hoop jumping for attendance, leave, and time off .

You pay your people for the work they're doing , and thus the worth they produce right? Seems not, many workplaces today still believe they pay people for the precise number of hours they sit shackled to their desk. which i assumed slavery was abolished! When companies are unnecessarily strict in requiring documentation for bereavement and medical leave, it erodes trust and leaves a nasty taste in employee's mouths. True there are instances where employees have faked a sickie to need every day off, but if you're hired those kinds of people what does it say about your hiring and screening process or the extent of engagement you have? Not the sort of culture you'd wish to make . during a culture with trust and transparency people actually invite every day off once they have it, some workplaces even allow mental state days, it can work.

What's the Take Away?

Take a look at your policies and rules - are any of them erring on the side of Brules? are you ready to remove or alter people that are unnecessary or demoralizing? you will find you keep the only people and increase the productivity and positivity at work.

Expert Author Alexandria Joy

Power. what's it? How can we use it? Who is seeking it? Why can we have a love/hate relationship with it?

"Power is simply the power to effect change." Luther King

"Powerlessness is that the most dangerous state that we could ever

experience." Brene Brown

Dictionary - what say you about power?

Power is that the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behaviour of others or the course of events ie: a political process that gives people power over their own lives.

Power are often seen as an individual or organization that's strong or influential within a specific context ie: he was an influence within the university.

Power may be a physical strength and force exerted by something or someone ie: the facility of the storm.

Power is energy that's produced by mechanical, electrical, or other means and wont to operate a tool ie: generating power from waste.

So power has many meanings and may combat many forms.

Used incorrectly and power can cause violence, isolation, shame, self-harm, blame.

But as MLK reminded us, power is simply the power to effect change.

Somehow we've come to the assumption that power is finite which if we share it then we somehow have less of it ourselves. But that's just not the case. that's not your unique power. Your unique power is infinite.

Forced power on the opposite hand is zero sum. Using forced power over someone or something eventually reaches a verge of collapse . some extent where cracks occur.

We are seeing these cracks appearing politically, socially and economically today in our times . Those with forced power are exerting their last grasp for control over and domination of. We are witnessing desperate, fearful people struggling to stay a hold of their power and fighting to take care of the old ways of living and being.

Eventually which will break too.

It's time to flick the switch.

Time to modify to a replacement way of leading. to modify from forced power to human power, to a world supported the human qualities of partnership, collaboration and shared power.

What the planet needs now are a replacement breed of leaders, expander leaders with expansive ways of thinking, being and doing. we'd like leaders, with and without title from business, community, politics, sport, religion and culture both in developed and developing countries, to engage, listen and work together.

When a pacesetter uses their position to force power over others by definition they disempower others from living and owning their own unique power. It stops them from sharing their perspective, their stories and their views also as their emotional, cognitive and spiritual experience. When power is forced we contract, become contained and shrink. Time and time again throughout history there has been no clear evidence that forced power is effective or lasting.

We as leaders in our families, companies and communities have a task to play in flicking the switch, exchanging forced power for human power. it is time for us to possess braver conversations, to start to illuminate and challenge our own unconscious biases privileges and beliefs and start to maneuver to an area of expansion and humanity.

When human power is shared it grows and expands to limitless possibilities. once we begin seeing ourselves together race - the humanity - where each and each individual has the chance to completely allow, evolve and step into our unique personal power and are available from an area of affection , not fear only then will the planet begin to tilt.

Expert Author Alexandria Joy

I believe the fish rots from the top .

I believe profit is hoarding.

I believe people join a corporation and leave because they do not feel valued and seen as a singular human.

I believe culture change must start at the highest .

Spend time in any workplace like I do as a corporation culture architect and you begin to ascertain some patterns emerging. Patterns like hidden codes, unspoken ground rules and culture drags. These patterns though they'll seem small in isolation create a cultural legacy that overtime can see the downturn of departments and whole companies. Ignore them and perish!

I get it. As a pacesetter , manager, supervisor or HR specialist your job is to make a high performance culture that's also an excellent place to figure .

You've done all the worker engagement surveys, had tool box talks, sent people off to training and retreats, hired coaches, deployed team software and given bonuses and rewards, yet your culture still ain't so hot. What's with that?

What if I told you that the hidden codes, unspoken ground rules and culture drags unless addressed would kill your chances of ever building a rocker culture? It's true. The drainers like politics and backstabbing, drama addiction, staff turnover, and lack of procedures all have an equivalent source - and that i hate to interrupt it to you. It's likely to be you!

You see you cannot really change your workplace culture and build a high performance team until you modify the main target from being on making the owner and therefore the company richer to creating the lives of your people enriched.

If this is often not your current routine then I can guarantee you - either now or later your humans are going to be paying a really personal price. Their disengagement, presenteeism, late for work, late for meetings, lack of accountability behaviour is psychosomatic. there is a bigger issue happening here.

To change your culture, and alter it permanently , you because the CEO, owner, manager or leader must be willing to be vulnerable, to possess raw and real conversations and to urge help from the surface .

Ultimately you've got to #startwithU.

With your open mind, generous heart and help from others you'll make people management a driver of growth rather than an obstacle.

In my experience and altogether the culture change, brand improvement and leadership development programs I even have seen that without full buy-in from the highest (and I mean all players and yes meaning you too CEO) then all attempts to vary are going to be hampered, held back and hindered. The culture and tone is about at the highest then is embraced or rejected by the individual humans within the organisation.

Leadership isn't about managing widgets and reading the record , it's about personal growth, your growth. Great leadership and empowerment begin together with your open mind and heart. First you've got to get your unique power and use it then you've got to get your employees' unique power too.

What's the Take Away?

Take a glance at your culture - do your fish heads stink? Are you affected by too many M&Ms (managers and meetings)? Are you treating people as Human Resources instead of just Humans?

What experiences of cultures, the good, bad and ugly have you ever had? have you ever seen any culture change programs attempt to fail? If so what contributed to the failure? I'd like to know - share your thoughts within the comments section below.

Everything is negotiable, it just comes right down to if you would like to place forth the trouble to barter . In my life I even have owned no but 15 cars , meaning car repairs. When your car is within the buy repairs it is a unique situation, you've got no control or true knowledge of what REALLY is required and what isn't. There are several "special reports" on news programs with undercover cameras showing mechanics damaging or lying to customers about repairs that are needed. the very fact that it's even possible creates a situation that ought to even be taken advantage of by the buyer . likelihood is that pretty good that your mechanic is over charging you for something, if you're taking an honest check out your invoice after you've got had a serious repair it's to be somewhat of a surprise that the gizmo that controls your anti lock brakes is $1700.00. There has got to be an enormous mark-up on the worth of an item that's a requirement have, and you'll only catch on from the dealer.

Car repairs are often negotiated a bit like anything , more so even. Your mechanic or service manager at the dealer, knows for a incontrovertible fact that you're being over charged, meaning that each one you've got to try to to is invite a reduction . If your mechanic is worth his salt he calls you before he does any work on your car, that's when the negotiation should start. When your mechanic tells you that you simply need a replacement "flex capacitor" and it cost around $800, your first reaction should be "Can you give me a far better price?"

Or better yet "Can you are doing it for $700" . you would like to form it clear from the very beginning that you simply need a discount. A one-tenth discount is usually an honest start line , you're only trying to urge alittle discount, which is best than nothing. the most important mistake you'll make is to attend until your car repair is finished. At that time he basically is holding your car hostage until you pay him, in order that means he's fully control of the negotiation. The little or no control we do have is before any work is completed , because we still have the power to mention no thanks I'll take it elsewhere .

Most people need a discount, but most of the people do not like negotiating. Let's face it, it isn't for everyone . the rationale car repair is about up for negotiation is because your mechanic or service manager knows that he can offer you a reduction but he certainly isn't getting to offer it. you will be surprised to ascertain how easy they're going to offer you 10% only for asking. subsequent time your you would like a car repair follow these steps to urge a tenth discount::

1. confirm you tell the service manager or mechanic to call you BEFORE he does any work to your car.

2. Always invite an estimate when he tells you what repairs you would like .

3. What ever amount he says, invite a minimum of for a tenth discount. It's far better saying a selected price rather than 10%, so confirm you've got your math ready.

That's it. nobody said it had been complicated, you only need to be willing to ask. Your'e getting to be surprised how easy it's , and wonder why you didn't roll in the hay sooner. Now take your 10% and do something for yourself,.... you earned it.

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